EMOTIONAL WAR ZONE

I seriously do not understand why this apartment is such an emotional war zone!!!!

I was having a pretty good day.... The beginning was bitter sweet as it was my last hair appt with Tim..... As a friend I am really relieved that he is going to finally take care of himself.... As his client I am, of course, sad......

Once he was done with my hair I went to Crossgates to get the adapter for my IPad so I could stream Netflix on my TV.... Wish I had the $99 for Apple TV but maybe down the road.... I also found a top for the party next week..... Ran a few more errands including getting a fruit and yogurt parfait from McDs for lunch.... Finally a fast food that I can eat...... I also went to The Fresh Market and got shrimp and chicken on sale.... Had to double back to get the cocktail sauce.....

When I got home Terry, who has been home sick all week, had actually done the dishes..... I hooked up my new device and finally relaxed with some comedy....

Then it got nasty.... I merely asked Terry how long he would be in the kitchen cooking his dinner as I wanted to get in there and he went ballistic!!!!! All the usual screaming and threats to move out and then he hit way below the belt..... He screamed at me how he had carried me for the last 15 years and on and on and on....... And, of course, I was blamed for him being sick..... Yeah sure I caused him to have salmonella!!!!

He stormed out of here and now I am in stress induced pain.... I couldn't keep some of my dinner down and now I am drowning my sorrows in some SoCo and lime and a percoset.....

I would give anything to have enough money to move out but there is just no way I can do that......

I took a HUGE step with my surgery to improve my health and being 70 lbs lighter has done wonders for my health and self esteem but the stress of living on egg shells is impeding my mental health.....

I, so, do not deserve this kind of misery!!!!!!